Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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