I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I woke up under a house in Key West
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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