p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
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will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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