I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
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You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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