I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize