Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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