I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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