so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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