Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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