I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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