i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize