he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
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There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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