I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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