roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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