Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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