either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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