maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize