peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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