He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit dude........stairs
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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