guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize