Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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