I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
