dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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