Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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