just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
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Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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