I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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