Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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