Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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