Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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