Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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