I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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