Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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