It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's just like the Real World with babies
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
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At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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