You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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