I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize