to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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