i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize