omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize