I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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