i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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