ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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