dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize