I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize