So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You are the jesus of drinking
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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