Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize