i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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