Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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