Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm jealous of your bromance
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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