the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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