i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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